Posted by: faultlessfinish | February 27, 2012

The Big, Mean Bully

I was very fortunate to have a childhood relatively free of bullying, but I do remember one amusing exception: when I was about six or seven, a big, scary thirteen-year-old boy would make faces at me in the hall and flick my hat off. I was terrified (and ultra sensitive, if you hadn’t guessed). I told my dad, who was a teacher at the school, and he had a gentle “talk” with the student. Needless to say, the kid never bothered me again.

Unfortunately, not all of life’s bullies are that harmless, and Dad isn’t around 24/7 to give those meanies a talking to.

When I first started freelancing, I was often bullied into projects I wasn’t interested in or into accepting rates for my services that were well below what I was worth. But the bullies weren’t the clients – the bully was me. I lacked confidence in my abilities and therefore told myself that I was only worth what other people told me. I allowed myself to be treated that way. When I finally put my foot down, I was shocked by the positive results. I attracted better work and started making more money. I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Of course, any new business owner needs to make some sacrifices in order to grow his or her business, but there’s a big difference between accepting certain undesirable instances as temporary (and making the best of them) and believing that you can’t do better for yourself.

I freelance because I want to create a positive work environment for myself. I want to work with writers who inspire me with their stories and who make me genuinely excited to sit down at my desk every morning. I’ve realized there’s no point in bullying myself into taking on a project just because I feel I “should.” We have created a society of “shoulds.” And for what reason?

And this idea extends way beyond work. Hang out with people who inspire positivity. Regardless of how confident you may be in yourself, negative outside influences will only dampen your enthusiasm over time. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others, and make sure the people in your life are kind to you. In the end, what else really matters?

And to all the wonderful writers I’ve had the fortune of working with over the years, thanks for all you do. I love my job!

This week’s goal: Just be grateful. We have so much to be grateful for, right here, right now.

Song of the week: “Infinity” – The XX. Some of you might recognize this one from my travel blog. I heard it again recently and it totally brought me back to the beaches of Costa Rica. Sigh. Oh February in Canada, I’m so over you.

Namaste :)



  1. So true!

  2. Great advice!

  3. Good work!

  4. Awesome, thank you for sharing Rachel!

  5. Thanks all! 🙂

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