Posted by: faultlessfinish | January 16, 2012

Potty Mouth

“One always looking for flaws leaves too little time for construction.” – Lewis F. Korns

When I think of negative words, gossiping and complaining come to mind first. I had my eyes opened to just how much I loved to gossip a couple of years ago. I was still working in the service industry and tried to engage one of my coworkers in a discussion about another coworker. She wouldn’t indulge me. Then she told me a story that has forever made me think about my judgment of others.

The coworker, who is now a good friend of mine, had spoken negatively to a fellow server about a man they both knew. As she spoke bitterly about his life choices, the other server told her that he, in fact, was in the process of cleaning his life up and getting off the streets. My friend said she was humbled. So was I.

It’s very unnerving to spew negativity and have your words fall on deaf ears. We need others who are negative to indulge us. But what’s the point in the first place? If we focus on the flaws of others, we may never realize their goodness.

While I don’t pretend to be a saint in this area, I have become much more aware of when I’m gossiping or complaining. And every time I refuse negative speech, I feel empowered.

Talking negatively about others is not the only kind of harmful speech, however, and I became very aware of that this week. I had just finished a great yoga class, and as I walked out of the studio, my instructor said to me, “Great practice today, Rachel.”

To which I replied, “That was such a great class. Thank you!”

“Thank you, but your practice itself was beautiful.”

“Aw, no . . .” I vehemently shook my head.

For some reason, I couldn’t accept the compliment. And then for the rest of the day, I beat myself up for not simply accepting the compliment. More negativity.

It’s so natural for us to be negative about ourselves. We may even say we’re just being humble. But there’s a difference between being humble and being unfair to ourselves. To succeed, you need to speak about yourself as though you were successful. Like the opening quotation implies, if you’re working towards a goal but are only focusing on what is wrong with you, how can you ever expect to build something great?

Speaking positively about yourself is not an easy task, but I challenge you to try it this week. Or at least be aware of when you’re indulging in negativity.

This week’s goal: Don’t let the past weigh you down.

Song of the week: “It’s Your Destiny” – War on Drugs

Namaste 🙂

Rachel

 

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Responses

  1. Thanks Rach – I’ve been working hard at not judging others, but I needed the gentle reminder to stop being so hard on myself for my shortcomings. You are an inspiration to me.

    • Thanks #1 Fan 🙂 You, of course, are always an inspiration to me in everything.

  2. Wonderful positive energy Rachel, I admire your work and your talents. 🙂
    BawB

  3. So true and really well written.

    Great post.

    A

  4. Thanks, Adrienne!

  5. I find it interesting that your experiences of refusining gossip, etc have been empowering. People tend to react to me as sanctimonious, or maybe I’m just reading that into it.

    I’ve been practicing saying thank you when people compliment me. I find it awkward, but it’s getting better! Great goal!

  6. Thanks Rose! I think it just unnerves people a bit when you refuse to gossip – the more you do it, the more people will (hopefully!) stop doing it around you.


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