Posted by: faultlessfinish | January 31, 2011

Confident Not Cocky

A few years ago, I had a conversation with a friend of mine about what kind of guy she was looking for. “Someone who is confident, not cocky,” she said with determination. Just a few weeks ago, I accused a friend of mine of being cocky. He replied, “Confident, Rach, not cocky.”

So what’s the difference? Since I started my freelance editing business, I have started thinking a lot more about confidence and how it’s an absolutely necessary skill in business and life in general. One of my goals this month is to “cultivate necessary selfishness and unshakable confidence.” Some may find this weird. “Why would you want to be more selfish? Doesn’t having unshakeable confidence make you arrogant?”

Some people are just  born with confidence in themselves and their abilities. They know what they deserve and are “selfish” in that they take time to do the things they want and make decisions in their best interests. I, unfortunately, was not born with a ton of confidence – I’ve had to work for it. I am very mindful of this fact, especially when making business decisions.

Back to the confident vs. cocky issue. When pricing out your services or speaking with a potential client about whether you have the skills to pull off a particular job, it’s vital to have confidence. If you know you services are worth X amount of dollars, don’t back down because the client doesn’t think so. Negotiation is fine, but backing down because you are unsure of yourself is not.  Being cocky, however, can be detrimental to your business. If you have severe doubts about your ability to work on a particular project based on your skill set, don’t brag to the client that it will be a piece of cake. You may end up with a project you can’t handle and lose the client and his or her referral business. While full disclosure isn’t necessary, honesty is always the best policy.

And when it comes to business, sometimes you have to be selfish. If you know a particular project will suck up too much of your time and energy, or if the price just isn’t right, know that it’s OK to decline. Maybe this is obvious to most of you reading this, but it’s something I had to learn the hard way.

So go be confident. It’s OK. Knowing yourself and what you deserve, not just in business but in regards to relationships, friendships, and every other aspect of life, is a good feeling.

Cheers 🙂


  1. Big difference between Cocky & Confident:

    Confident = I can do this.

    Cocky = 1) ONLY I can do this (No one else can do this)
    2) I can do this (even though I know I can’t)

  2. Exactly! Thank you 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: